~ Letting Go ~

Life is hectic without homeschooling.  Life is hectic with the average size family.  Homeschooling and 9 children, 8 of which are still home (as well as a sweet grandson), makes my life CRAZY!!

Homeschooling, as much as I would argue differently, results in a lot of time away from the outside world.  Sure, we go to the library, on field trips, activities, and different types of classes. But, it isn't the same as heading off to work in the morning and spending the day with other adults. I know, I worked for many years. I enjoyed that part of it. I enjoyed my job. But, I always longed to be home with our children.

So, home I came.  I can honestly say, I've never been happier than when I'm home with my family.  However, there is one drawback... or so I tend to think at times.  That occasional drawback thought would be adult conversation.

For a very long time I swore off social media in the form of Facebook.  It looked like a waste of precious time... but, many of my family members were on there. Many of my old friends were on there.

After a few years at home, the lack of adult conversation began to haunt me.  Yes, I had my husband to talk to, but he began (like all husbands) to get tired of hearing about the dishes, laundry, housekeeping (or lack of), etc.  I really needed someone to talk to who understood.  In came Facebook...

Finally, I was talking to long lost family members; finding groups with similar interests; meeting many new and wonderful friends and prayer partners.  It was lovely! I had a "social life" again. It was wonderful to be able to see what others were doing and to glean wisdom from them. But, along with all of this wonderful "socializing" came a whole heck of a lot of DRAMA, and a lot of hurt feelings.

I saw and read many things that I could have gone without seeing and reading!  It was very difficult at times to follow St. Paul's words: " For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things." ~ Philippians 4:8 Not that I didn't try! But, things would just show up in my news feed.

It was a place where I found myself spending way too much time.  Too much time being concerned about what others were doing or saying.  So concerned in fact, that I found myself checking FB several times a day.  Telling my children to "hold on just one minute, let mommy finish reading this".  I can't tell you how many opportunities to read, snuggle, or nurse my sweet little man, I missed just so I could catch up on what somebody else was doing.

So, I let it go... I left... and I already feel better.  Period.

What am I going to do now? Get back on a routine with my family; do nothing when I take a break; read in the evenings with my husband; write letters; just enjoy life.

And hopefully to find time, after all of that, to continue to journal our families journey here.  We find it such a joy to be able to look back and smile at these memories.