Uugh...

What do you do when your sister is not allowed over to your house (and hasn't been able to for months) and she's not allowed to do things with your daughter who is standing as a bridesmaid in her wedding?  If you are like me you open your big mouth and ask WHY???. 

Then, what do you do when your stepmother tells you "My problem with K spending time with A is that A is a 16 year old high school kid who goes to prom and K is a 20 year old woman getting married.  What do they have in common?  K needs to be talking to married women now since she will be one soon.  They are in 2 totally different worlds now.  I really don't understand why K wants to hang out with younger girls like that." 

Again, if you are like me you open your trap and say "So, now that she is getting married she has to give up all friends and family younger than her?  Are you kidding me?"

Stepmother: "No!  She needs to be getting advice from married women, not 16 year olds who go to prom."

So then what happens?  You let it all out (if your me)!  You let her know exactly what you think of her, her judgemental attitude, her hypocritical attitude, her controlling 'unless it's how I would feel, think, behave, talk or parent my kids, it's wrong' attitude.  You let her know that you don't appreciate being laughed at for how you feel, being told you are parenting your children wrong, or the continuous negative attitude and talk about your dad and your brothers and sister.  When she makes a statement that the dynamics of you and your dad's relationship has changed you very clearly tell her how very much you love your dad but unfortunately the only way to get to him is to go through her first, something that for months you have not been willing to do.  Doing so means talking with her.  You tell her that you don't appreciate your family being shunned, offended and hurt.  And by the way...what the he__ does prom have to do with any of this?  Then you politely...thank her for the phone call, say good-bye and hang up!

Then, what happens after you hang up?  You feel better!  Then you worry that what you did was wrong!

But none the less, you still feel better!

When your hubby gets home you vent...waiting to see that look of disappointment for what you have done, or to hear words of disappointment.  When you realize that your hubby (whose opinion you truly respect) is not at all disappointed, you feel AMAZING and relieved like a ton of bricks has been removed from your shoulders.

The boundaries for any future relationship (if there is one) have been set.

Sissy's response to all of this?  Why was I OK to hang out with on a daily basis 6 months ago?

Hmmmmm?